My Luck Ran Out

So let me make a list for you of everything I had last week.

1. A job
2. A chance with this guy I like
3. Money
4. A good deal of happiness(unusual for me)
5. A working TV

Now let me make a list of things I have this week.

1. No job
2. No chance of ever finding that guy again because I don't know if he got to stay(after season that is)
3. No money
4. No happiness
5. A semi-broke TV

Now most of the things I don't have anymore I'm fine with. The TV is gonna get fixed and I'll find another job to get more money. Hopefully I'll find more happiness. BUT THAT GUY! WE BOTH WORKED THERE SEASONALLY AND ME BEING STUPID FORGOT TO ASK FOR HIS NUMBER OR SOME WAY OF CONTACTING HIM BEFORE HE LEFT!!!!!!!! HE LEFT BEFORE ME THAT NIGHT WHICH WAS ODD BECAUSE WE USUALLY LEAVE AT THE SAME TIME AND NOW I'M SUPER UPSET CAUSE HE MADE ME LAUGH AND HAPPY AND I MADE HIM LAUGH AND HE SAID I WAS FUN TO BE AROUND AND ONCE WE WERE WORKING AND I DON'T CARE IF HE WAS JOKING OR NOT CAUSE I'M NOT TOO SURE IF HE WAS OR WASN'T JOKING BUT HE SAID HE WANTED ME TO STAY WITH HIM FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT CAUSE HE NEEDED ME TO BE IN HIS LIFE! 

Okay I'll go cry in a corner now....

See Ya

~Jo

My "Boyfriends"

So in my first post I said I haven't had a real boyfriend. And by that I mean I've had two or three "boyfriends". By this I mean I never dated any of them but they all considered themselves to by my ex after about a week of talking to them. As in I talked with them all for about a week each (all either a week or a couple months apart) then after not talking to them for a bit, I'd go talk to them and they'd be like "Sorry I don't like talking with my EXs..." and leave. I'm sorry but in what way is talking over a message app for a couple days dating!? Like really? So yeah I've never actually dated anyone .-. I'm that acko taco


See ya
~Jo

About Me, I Guess

                So me. Just me. Well my name is obviously Josie but most people call me Jo. I'm still have to go to daily hell or as most people call it, high school. Gross. Since I call it "daily hell" I'm guessing you would assume that my school is just the everyday public high school that everyone goes to and hates. Well if you thought that, then you're wrong. I go to a charter school and I don't actually get bullied to my face. I mean I have but not as much anymore. And this is where things get a bit complicated.

               Normally bullying happens face to face or online. I have been bullied both ways before. A LOT. So much so that I have developed trust issues and I'm VERY insecure about myself. And on top of it all I have probably the lowest amount of self esteem possible. So yeah I'm so totally normal. Right? Sure I am but I feel so different. I know most teens do but I mean really different. Not like "OMG I'm a lez and don't want to admit it" or "I'm a lez and don't want to tell" because I'm not. I'm straight. 100% sure too. It's more like I don't have a size 6 or less body. I have more like a size 14 or 16. That's what makes me feel and seem super different. Now you're probably like "Oh great another fat girl crying over her problems or eating them away" but nope. I don't. I mean yeah I cry but not because of the way I look. Don't go saying "Oh it's okay you just have to work out and eat healthy." Yeah thanks. It's not like I don't know that already. But that's not the problem. Well it is. ANYWAYS, because of the way I look I was bullied. Now whenever I walk by people who are whispering then happen to laugh, I assume they are making fun of me. EVERY TIME. Not just once in awhile. Nope every time.

                I actually don't know why I think my life is so bad but I do. I've never had a boyfriend. Well a real one. (That takes a whole different post to explain) I've never had many friends. I have a job(seasonal at the moment I actually get to find out (HOPEFULLY FINGERS CROSSED) tonight if i get to stay). I have a big family that I assume loves me. So why do I think my life is so bad?

                Who knows. If I don't know then how should anyone else know? See ya.

~Jo